GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
