Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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