We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
