Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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