I hope mine doesn't look like that
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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