Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
