There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
