They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
