if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
