i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
