I think my vagina is haunted
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I looked at my own cervix.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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