this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
