You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
