I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
