i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
