I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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