How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
