Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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