I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
