yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
