I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
