I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want her autograph on my taint
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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