You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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