You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
