Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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