Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
