mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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