He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So many bounce houses so little time
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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