it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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