dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You work out of a Hotel?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
