He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
