I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Randomize
