I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
