I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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