why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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