Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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