how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
