Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
