it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
