3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
