So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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