i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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