it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
