she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
