I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
