worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
