So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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