$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
