Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How external is "for external use only"?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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