I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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