my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
