I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's just like the Real World with babies
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
